Funeral Preparation and Planning

This web page contains some resources for making funeral arrangements for a loved one. Some people also choose to pre-plan their own funerals so that their wishes are known.
 
If you have had a death in your family and need to reach someone to make arrangements, please call the church at 919.479.1001. Off hours, please call the priest's residence at 919.797.0947   Please also contact a local funeral home at your earliest convenience.
 
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“In the face of death, the Church confidently proclaims that God has created each person for eternal life and that Jesus, the Son of God, by his death and resurrection, has broken the chains of sin and death that bound humanity.” Vatican Council II, Sacrosanctum  Concilium, 5.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
 
The principal liturgies in the Order of Christian Funerals are the (1) Vigil for the Deceased, (2) the Funeral Mass or Funeral Liturgy Outside Mass, and (3) the Rite of Committal.
 
1)        Vigil –A priest, deacon, or a qualified lay minister may preside at the Vigil service. This is an appropriate time for family and friends to share memories of the deceased.
2)         Funeral Mass or Funeral Liturgy Outside Mass –The Church will supply a presider (priest/deacon), cantor, organist and a funeral program.  Here are some things you may want to consider:

o    Scripture Readings – You may choose three readings (plus a Psalm which is part of the music selection). If you prefer hard copy, the parish library has a copy ofThrough Death to Life by Joseph M. Champlin. 
o    Music – The Church will provide a cantor, an organist, and guidance for musical selections.
                Psalm 23 - The Lord is my Shepherd
                Psalm 27 The Lord is my Light
                Psalm 63 My soul is thirsting for you
                Psalm 103 The Lord is Kind
                Psalm 116 I will walk before the Lord
o    Reflection – A family member or friend may offer a brief reflection during the funeral service (3-4 minutes). (The preferred time for family and friends to share memories of the deceased is at the Vigil.)
o    Program – The Funeral Home generally provide a program.  If it does not, please contact the office for assistance.
o    Family involvement - Some opportunities for friends/family to be involved in the liturgy are: readers (2 people), a reflection (1 person), pallbearers (2-6 people), extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion, and the presentation of the gifts (2+ people). The church can supply people for these roles if requested.
o    Reception – There is a funeral reception ministry. Finger foods and refreshments are provided, and it is a nice opportunity for you to greet friends without the stress of hosting at your home. There is no charge for this service. If you would like to request a reception, please let us know about how many people may be in attendance.

3)   Rite of Committal – This is a short rite, about 15 minutes long. The presider may be a priest, deacon, or a qualified lay minister. The Rite takes place at the graveside.
 
Donations: 
There is no charge for the Funeral Mass. Often families ask if they can make a contribution to the church. Since the organist and cantor are paid $100 each, most families work with the funeral home to arrange payment directly to those individuals. In our experience families generally make additional gifts to others involved in the funeral (priest, deacon, funeral reception committee, etc.) in the range of $100-$150 each. Should you desire to do so, checks should be made out to the individual. Should you desire to give a gift to the church, the check can be made out to "St. Matthew Church." Again, note there is no charge to celebrate a funeral liturgy at St. Matthew. 
 
If you have any questions about funeral planning, please contact the Pastor in the Parish Office.